Episode MMXLII – The Prophecy

And so, we were brought before the great seer of prophesy, who had brought the true word down for above to teach it unto us and to bring us from the depravity of our ways into the light and to practice all our days the ways of the martyrs so that we might ascend to paradise and the great gifts and glories that might await us there. And, this great seer who shall remain nameless and on whose image upon which none should gaze for it is blasphemy to see, cast his stern eye upon us and we trembled. Yet, when he spoke, it was gently at first as he set forth the charge against us of having been in the presence of immodest women without whipping or beheading them. His voice became more righteous as he declared us infidels and screamed for our death. But, then, reminded that we had, upon seeing a disobedient wife had stoned her, the great prophesizer declared that rather than give us our just and deserved punishment of dismemberment, he would send us out into the world on a ship that would be outfitted for us to travel endlessly so that we may catalog the beasts and plants of the world and bring back knowledge and spread the true faith, not by inflicting pain and death or by exhortation, but by example. Faced with this dictate, many of our most religious compatriots threw themselves into the sea for what is their faith without blood and terror? © mmg 2008

Episode MMXLI – Restitution

As we awaited our trial, sentencing and fate, there came before us as had so often in the past, a chance to redeem ourselves and to make us once again worthy of entering paradise as true holy warriors and to enjoy in paradise the ministrations of many pure, modest maidens. For as we sat in the hot sun in the courtyard of doom before the holy court of true prophesies, the religious police brought out a wretched creature, a woman who had disobeyed her husband and hid her daughter away when it was his intention to sell this child as a pleasure servant to a rich man. Having broken the most sacred laws governing how a woman should behave by failing to obey the rule of her husband she was soon to be stripped bare and beheaded to punish her with death and much worse, shame. Seeing this, we at once knew that this could be our salvation and endeavored to perform a most sacred act by stoning her to death. And, this we did with small stones to prolong her agony and to ensure our forgiveness. For, is it not a holy warrior’s duty to pray many times a day and to see that the law of the great teacher is obeyed? © mmg 2008

Episode MMXXXIX – Bird of Doom

And so, we were brought before the palace of righteous justice wherein the religious scholars shall determine our guilt according to the ancient laws and pronouncements of the bringers of the true word. We stood before the gates waiting to be led inside for a day and then more until finally came forth a designate to read us the charges of which we are guilty and the punishments to be administered after the trial and condemnation. These we learned were failure to slay infidels with sufficient zeal, failure to stone immodest women who were not wearing proper attire, consorting with and then failing to strangle harlots for their sinful ways and a lack of bathing and insufficient prayer for which the punishment in all cases will be the severing of limbs followed by beheading and whipping, all to be carried out by the most holy religious police. Thereupon, and the designate pointed towards a tree on the branches of which was roosting, the most feared bird of doom that shall eat our flesh. How could we escape this terrible fate and achieve paradise? Tune in next time to The Voyage of Discoveries and learn what happens next. Same time. Same station. © mmg 2008

Episode MMXXXVIII – Strange Encounter

By the side of the road, as our brave holy warriors staggered onward bravely to meet their fate according to the judgment of the grand disciples of the prophetic word, there was an ancient seer that legend proclaims had withstood the blandishments of the vile crusaders and while not even having a clothe to cover himself or even a beard was revered for his wisdom and knowledge of the sacred book. And, he spoke unto these pilgrims, the holy warriors that they might yet achieve paradise if, before encountering the great religious judges to receive their preordained fate, they were able to commit a great work as the beheading of those who have engaged in unseemly behavior or the stoning of a woman who refused to obey her husband or who bared her head, thereby being unseemly and dressing as would a prostitute. And, so, these pilgrims, being anxious for salvation took it upon themselves to purge all that they met for was it not for their own good? © mmg 2008

Episode MMXXXVI – The Landing

Staggering onto the dock, we encountered before anyone else a poleax man who introduced himself as our executioner. Stark naked but for his head which according to law must be kept covered, and stinking himself, had the carcass of a sea creature at his feet and began demonstrating his skills upon it, deftly slicing off repulsive portions of dead flesh from this fish that had been too long in the sun. And, we were forced to concur; the precision with which he wielded his instrument was noteworthy. He was a master and we gave him his due with coin and other blandishments. Whereupon, he took out a greasy crayon and began marking on each of us the cuts that he would take, sundering limbs first and then the rest until we would be but a pile of flesh, each of us, before the sacred law. He advised holding quite still while he proceeded. But, he said, “I will not begin until the religious police have had their way with you. Then, he gave us instructions to the religious court where were to appear for trial and immediate conviction. What choice did we have as a condemnation of death had been issued by the great seer? © mmg 2008

Episode MMXXXIV – Strange Welcome

Coming in the lee of the Isle of the Green Visier, we could smell the fragrance of flower and forest and many birds of an unknown type filled the air, their sharp cries ringing in our ears. At first they flew about our vessel but suddenly one, then another and another, swooped in a raked with beak and claw some of our crew of holy warriors, drawing blood from their scalps and faces. The bleeding from these wounds was hard to staunch and those who had them soon felt into a deep trance as their skin turned black and then green. And, while they were so afflicted, there came out from the island a vessel bearing not healing balm or welcome but instead a proclamation of our trial and immediate execution. For, we were considered unclean for having been captured by and being in the presence of uncovered, infidel women who did dishonor to their family by failing to obey the religious rules and who must surely by their adulterous dress engage in harlotry. And, so, rather than being honored for our martyrdom, we would instead be denied our due place in heaven as is ordained for those who are so unclean. (Copyright mmg 2008

Episode MMXXXII – Refuge

On the morning of the 15th day at sea, battling first devilish wind and wave and then desultory calm and a broiling sun, all the while surrounded by bloodthirsty white watery monsters swimming round and round our ship, we espied with caution and foreboding, a smoky island, a gray land with little prospect or so it first seemed. We steered for it nonetheless. Could we do otherwise? For our fate if we remained without food and water at sea would be sealed. But, as we grew closer, we saw something that filled us with joy. We knew this island, if only by legend. Its outline against the far sky was inscribed in the most holy of sand markings, even unto solid rock. It was the Isle of the Green Visier, a place of learning and civility and constant praying, where women are fully covered so that they may not be immodest or bring dishonor to their brethren and where holy warriors are greeted with respect and honor. And, so, we hoped, we would find a refuge and support in our quest to subdue the infidel that promotes sin and depravity. It was soon enough, however, that our joy was to be crushed. (Copyright mmg 2008)